my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
