dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
