I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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