I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
