Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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