i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize