As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
