i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize