So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
