My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
