whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
