hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
