FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Let's get the cat blown out
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
