using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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