White coat. Heels.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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