Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Text me some of your sweat
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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