He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He felt like a one man threesome
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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