in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
