Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
