So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
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Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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