I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have post one night stand depression
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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