When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
