dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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