who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
