Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
