It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize