forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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