Where did you get a picture of my penis
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
