You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
