Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize