strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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