Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
