it wasn't lemon gatorade
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
