Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize