Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
