it hurts more in the daytime
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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