Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there was a trapeze. enough said
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
