i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
