Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
