I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
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The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
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let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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