I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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