i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
