You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize