I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
God gave him joint rollers for hands
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
