thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
