I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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