i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize