I am puke
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize