I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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