Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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