Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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