Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
