gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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