i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Found your dick twin last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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