I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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