She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
