I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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