your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
