Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
