You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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