I just cut my nipple shaving
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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