If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm jealous of your bromance
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
